what i've learned since high school

a year ago today i graduated from high school and it feels absolutely crazy to say that. i've grown a lot since then, and i think that i've learned a lot as well.

so without further ado, and because i love lists, here are thirteen things that i've learned since high school

1. it's okay to cry
this feels a little obvious, but i've definitely been in situations where i've told myself not to cry. don't listen to that voice. if you want to cry, then cry. crying is cathartic, not only because it releases toxins from your body, but also in the sense that it's a release of pain as well.

my oldest friend and i at my graduation. aw.

2. friends will come and go
and that's okay. seriously, you're not expected to stay bffs with the people you knew in high school, or even the people you meet in college. losing friends is not the end of the world, because there's always another one just around the corner.

3. love yourself first
you are important. learn how to love yourself. love yourself before you love others. i'm not really sure how else to explain this one.

4. get rid of toxic people
this one kind of ties in with the above, but if someone is causing you pain in your life, cut them out. it's okay to tell someone that you need to take a break from them. your mental and emotional well-being should come before anyone else's

but first, let me take a selfie. please ignore my messy room. okay bye

5. study
no but seriously, study.

6. what you get out of life is what you put into it
if you're going to sit around and complain about life, you're not going to get any positive results. sit up and do something.

7. step out of your comfort zone
it's okay to push yourself a little. sometimes the best results come from this.

i wish i could say that i'm wearing a ankle brace because i was stepping out of my comfort zone, but i just fell down the stairs, to be honest.

8. stay true to yourself
you're not going to be happy if you do something that goes against your inner self. it just doesn't work like that. you will be happier if you stay true to who you are and who you want to be.

9. your parents love you
really, i promise, they do.

10. home is where you make it
home is where your heart is. if you decided that college is never going to be home, it's never going to be home. but home will also always be where you grew up, and it's okay to return there.

showing off those diplomas holla

11. be spontaneous
college is all about spontaneity and freedom. use it, abuse it, and make tons of good memories.

12. you'll find help in the most random and unexpected places
i've found that the people who have helped me the most didn't even know that they were helping me. there is always someone out there ready to help, you just have to know where to look.

13. you are more loved than you know
there are so many people out there who love you. more than you know and probably ever will know. just remember that you are loved, and you'll be fine.

see? loved.

what's something you guys have learned? or tell me about your graduations!

-em xx

dream on youth

i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to do this post justice, but i'm going to try. 

you may have heard me mention that i intern for a lovely little place called dream on youth, but i'm not sure that i've ever exactly explained what doy is, and how i came to find it. 

last fall, i saw my friend maire tweet about an organization called dream on youth quite a bit. assuming that maire had good judgement (she does), i decided to check out the doy twitter, and immediately fell in love with them and their cause. it's changed slightly since that day, but i'm still behind it 100%. if you're curious, i'll take a snippet from the website. 

"DOY is founded on the principle of practicing what we preach. We lead by example to instill love, hope, confidence, humility, optimism, and genuine charity in the millennial generation. We will always move you in the direction of your dreams but over the years we've learned that the world is missing something. Pure and genuine love for one another! Our new legacy is to inspire you and help you mend what's broken. Shower you with love and make you believe you're worth that life you daydream about. It can get better, and it does. We believe in you, you can do this. You are golden."

simply put, the girls behind doy are just trying to love on everyone and lift them up.

 i started to follow them on twitter, and (this has always been my favorite part) noticed that whoever ran the doy twitter would tweet me back! that was so exciting to me. i started to want to get more involved with them, but as i didn't really have a talent that would allow me to be a part of the doy family (or so i thought), i settled for reading their blogposts, and helping them reach 1,000 twitter followers.

the promise was that at 1,000 there would be a livechat and, i believe, tour dates would be announced. i might be getting the timeline mixed up here. anyways, suffice to say that they reached 1,000 twitter followers, i won the raffle that was being held, and watched the livechat. 

but after all that was over, things kind of went back to normal. i did end up starting a street team twitter, which i should use more than i do, but i think what i was waiting for was the opportunity to become an intern for them. 

which, as you can probably guess, did come around in february of this year (2014). and since then, i've been happily writing blog posts and running project safe space. to understate it, working for cydney and with the rest of the girls is a joy and a privilege. 

i've made so many friends and strengthened other friendships because of doy, and, without realizing it, doy helped me through some of my roughest moments. doy has truly changed me for the better. i feel more fearless, more selfless, and more willing to love and be brave. 

i know it's changed me for the better, and i can't wait to see where doy goes next.

let me know if you check doy out!

-em xx

sweater weather

so we've (kind of) finally hit the point in the year where you can walk outside and just wear sweaters and no jackets and i love that so much. honest to goodness i hate wearing jackets with a passion. so sweater weather is perfect. 

if you're familiar with youtube at all, you know about the tag videos that go around, especially the seasonal ones. my friend emily did the sweater weather tag on her blog, and while she didn't tag me in it, she did encourage me to do it, so here we go?! i'm not sure how well this will work out.

two emilys together holla

favorite candle scent?

i'm assuming this means fall candle scents? in which case, i have to say that i wasn't allowed to burn candles at home, and i'm not allowed to burn them in my dorm room, so tbh i couldn't tell you because i don't know!! 

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

coffee. i'm so addicted to coffee that it's a problem. 

what's the best fall memory you have?
i want to say my trip to new york city that i recently took, because i don't really have a specific memory that is associated with fall, if that makes any sense. i do remember that one year, two of my friends and i dressed up as cinderella and her two ugly stepsisters, and dressing up ugly was rather fun. 

what makeup trend do you prefer: dark lipstick or winged eyeliner?

i think dark lipstick? just because it's easier to put on. eyeliner is such a pain, and lipstick not so much. i don't know if i can pull off dark lipstick, but i have a few friends who can, and they look stunning.

what do you want to be for halloween?

honestly, i don't get super excited for halloween. this year, the only reason i'm dressing up is because i have to attend a few events in costume. i really wanted to be veronica from heathers: the musical (based on the movie) but that costume is kind of dumb if you're alone and don't have a group to go with, which i don't. for one of my events, i believe we're going as cowboys/cowgirls, so there you go.

what do you do to get in the fall spirit?
tbh, i'm not sure that i do much, if anything. unless getting salted caramel mochas at starbucks counts?

what is autumn weather like where you live?

both in michigan and back home in new york, it's gorgeous. it's chilly, but usually not too chilly, so i can just wear my fleece and a scarf, and the leaves change to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and red, and it's literally an explosion of color. there's been a lot of rain this year too, which is weird.

most worn sweater?

my most worn sweater isn't really a sweater, per say, rather, it's a quarter zip from my high school. it's just comfortable, okay?

must-have nail polish this fall?
essie's eternal optimist and essie's good as gold. i'm obsessed with both. 

football games or jumping in leaf piles?
can i say both? jumping in leaf piles is really fun, but at michigan football is everything, and honestly, the games are pretty fun. football saturdays are a must have.

hats or scarves?
scarves. i hate hats. with a passion. 

is pumpkin spice worth the hype?
i don't think so, but that might just be because i don't like lattes. the scent can't be beat though. 

favorite halloween movie?
if the answer to this isn't halloweentown and all it's sequels, you're doing life wrong. 

what song really gets you in the fall spirit?

there are fall song? i'm not really sure, honestly, but right now i'm jamming to 1989 by taylor swift. so that, if it counts. i also guess all too well by taylor swift, because of the line "autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place" and the fact that the secret message was maple lattes, which sounds very fall-y to me.

 what are some of your favorite parts about fall? let me know!

-em xx

just living that simple life

so a while ago, two of my favorite people released a new ep. and it's fabulous and gorgeous and wowie. megan and liz are two of my favorite music artists, and i'm so excited to see how far they go. you may have heard their single release you on the radio, or their single bad for me in an audi commercial. i still scream every time i hear it on the commercial, it's fine. 

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these two (they're twins, mind, megan's the brunette) have come so far since their youtube days, and even though they've had come difficulties and roadblocks thrown in their paths, they've persevered. and everyone's been there for them through it all. it was a long wait for new music, but this ep is quite possibly the best that we've heard from them...ever. they've gone country, and i couldn't be more pleased, because they're known for being two girls, harmonies, and a guitar. which is exactly what this ep is. 

since it's only seven songs, i'll go through each one!

simple life

this is basically what what the two of them are all about. it was the first song that we heard from them off of this new ep (well...kind of, more on that later) and it made me so so excited for the rest of the ep. very country, very good.

a better me

this is song is gorgeous. and it makes me cry. so that alone should be enough to make you listen to it. 

karma's coming back for me

i'm so glad that we finally have a studio version of this song! the two of them sang this on their tour last summer, and put out an acoustic version and along with all of the other macers out there, have been waiting for a studio version for forever. it's totally applicable to life, even though it's a break up song at it's core. 

new at this

this song literally sounds like summer. like, if i could bottle summer up and put it up in a song, it would sound like this. i'm not 21 yet, but i totally find it applicable to the job i had this summer, and i think that if you're ever in a new situation you'll feel it. also totally going to be blasting this when i turn 21. it's casual. 

night of our lives

this is probably my favorite song off of their ep. it's a cute little song about having a good time with your friends, and you know that i'll be blasting it when i visit new york in october. maire, i'm coming for you. 

switch hearts

everyone in the megan & liz fandom has been waiting for this song. it's a breakup song, but it doesn't feel like one. i think it's also applicable if you're going through a hard time in general, not just a breakup. 

grave

this song. it's really similar to carrie underwood's two black cadillacs, if you've heard that. it's creepy and haunting, and it's almost like a kick butt girl power song. at least that's vibe i get from it. 

if you want to check out their ep or any of their other songs, i would highly, highly recommend them, especially since they've covered a bunch of recently popular songs as well.

-em xx

fresh starts

i think that fresh starts are a gift. i'm not sure that we always see them like this, but as a firm believer in karma/fate/what have you, i'm convinced that 100% of the fresh starts we're given are gifts, even if they don't seem like them at the time. 

at the most basic level, you're given a fresh start every day when you wake up. every day is a new chance to turn your life around, work on something you've been meaning to do, or read a new book--anything really. you don't have to be the same person that you were the day before, or even the day before that. not if you don't want to be. 

on a bigger level--think of milestones--each first day of school/classes, each new place that you've lived, the times you've graduated, the time you got married/had a baby--anything you'd consider a big life event? it's a fresh start. 

fresh starts don't have to be with people who don't know you. yes, they're an opportunity to reinvent who you are, but that doesn't mean you have to leave everyone you know behind in the process. Or maybe it does. it really depends on your situation. my point is that I think 90% of the time, when we hear the words "fresh start" we think of starting over in some place new where nobody knows us one single bit. and yes, those are fresh starts. but those days where you decide to step out of your comfort zone at home? the days where you do something that's a little bit not you, no matter where you are or what the outcome? those are fresh starts too. 

all you have to do is decide to wipe your slate clean and start again. the people who care about you will always be there for you, no matter what. i know this for a fact. they will be there for you, and they'll support you along the way--and if you're lucky, they might even help you in your process. 

i hope you're never scared of a fresh start. they can seem daunting at first, i know that all too well, but i've found that they're for the better. you're never being given more than you can handle. fresh starts are a gift. you are in charge of your fate in those moments. you can be whoever you want to be. you can do whatever you want to do. all you have to do is take a deep breath, make a plan, and go for it. 

you'll be glad you did. 

so here's to fresh starts--what's one that's particularly impacted you?

-em xx

the fault in our stars

i went to go see the fault in our stars at a 9 pm showing on the thursday night before it was released. not the night before our stars, because i wasn't about to shell out $25 for that. especially since my sister, who did end up going to it, came home five minutes after i did. 

the girls i went with! we did well with the lighting, i know.

i'm just going to come right out and say this though: i did not cry. 

i'd also just like to clarify, however, that this does not mean that i thought the movie was horrible.

the movie itself was really well done, it was funny and sad and all the right amount of in between. shai and ansel were fabulous, as was the rest of the cast. by all standards, it was a good movie. i'd definitely call it a good movie. but you've probably already heard that. 

oh, also, before i get any further, i'm just going to tell you right now: 

go see the movie. just do it. 

right. 

"and who am i, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it--or my observation of it--is temporary?" #homemadeshirts

so. what did i think? 

to be honest, i'm not entirely sure what i thought of the movie. it's been a few months and i'm still trying to wrap my head around it. the most that i've been able to come up with has to do with the fact that everyone (or at least hazel and gus) is pretentious. one of my friends said it best when she said that the entire point of the book was that their fatal flaw was their pretentiousness.

i've been struggling with this for a while now, and i've been called, many, many names (heartless monster, and a twig amongst them--all in good spirit though) and ultimately, my conclusion from all of this was that i didn't like the movie.

i didn't like the movie.

wow, that feels good to say!

like i said earlier, i think a lot of it had to do with the pretentiousness of the characters. ansel, while fabulous, made it too easy for me to come out of the world they were all trying to create. and while i don't mean to bash ansel, because his is a fantastic gem of a human, i don't know if he was necessarily the right choice for gus. hell, i don't know if anyone would have been the right choice.

nobody believed me when i said didn't cry but i literally took this right after i got home. no tears.

in the end, i just didn't connect emotionally with any of the characters, and ultimately, i think that's why i didn't cry, and part of the reason that i didn't like the movie.

i like movies i can relate to, and, thankfully, i can't relate to cancer in any way, shape, or form. i'm kind of hoping it stays that way.

honestly, i'm not writing this to deter you from seeing the movie, if you haven't already. it was a great film, really well done, and really funny for a sad movie. go see it. go support ya literature. read the book if you haven't.

we're on a roller coaster that's only going up, my friends.

have you seen tfios? what did you think?

-em xx

tbt: first impressions

i wrote this sometime in the fall of last year, and i actually really like it. especially my shoe metaphor. 

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first impressions are really important. in those few split seconds we make huge decisions on how we view people. i once read that the first thing you subconsciously notice about someone is the shoes that they're wearing. and while i don't think that's necessarily true, i think it's a good piece of advice.

shoes aren't something that we really think about. we just kind of randomly throw on a pair when we're rushing out the door, and pray that they coordinate with our outfits (or maybe you actually put thought into your shoes, i don't know). just like a lot of things in our lives, shoes get put on the sidelines, thinking they're not important, when in reality, they're what people notice about us. it's crazy to think about how many tiny details people notice.

does this mean that we should put in more attention to detail? maybe, maybe not. like i said, i'm pretty sure shoes are not the first ting a person will notice, but at the same time, they're not the last thing they're going to notice either. so not paying attention to your shoes at all is a bad thing, but obesessing over whether or not your shoes clash with the polka dots on your sweater is bad too. there's a happy medium that needs to be found.

i'm still searching for that happy medium. there are a lot of days when i just throw on whatever shoes i have handy, and then there are the days when i redo my entire outfit so i can wear a pair of shoes. it's an ongoing process, just like the rest of life. trying to balance school and a social life is a major one for me. (one that i'm probably failing at right now, since i'm writing this instead of studying for my econ exam in thirty minutes. oops.) it's like finding the perfect pair of shoes (there's irony here, i'm sure). i think the moral of my story here is that i'm learning and growing. first impressions are just as important as making sure your shoes match. first blog posts are just as important, and i'm pretty happy with this one.

are you guys the type to put on whatever shoes are nearby, or do you think about it?

-em xx